Soap is not a condiment
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize