I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
