a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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