I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
