I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
