I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize