Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
