Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
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