Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
She announced her abortion via fbk
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
