Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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