i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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