yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
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