Say something about gay babies.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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