you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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