you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
