Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
