someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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