why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize