Me. At least after what I've been through.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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