she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
