whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
