you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I think your dad took our porno
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
