Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Sober January is a disaster.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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