Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize