batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
