So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
