Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
