He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
