We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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