it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
