i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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