He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
