I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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