Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
