Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Randomize
