Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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