I can tuck mytits in my pants
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
