Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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