ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
