He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
