I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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