That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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