My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
