My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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