I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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