Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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