Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
