I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize