please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i would punch a child for taco bell
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize