We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I booty called her while she was in labor.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
