Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
