google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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