Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
