I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize