Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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