You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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