it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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