real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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