billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
