We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
