She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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