You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Farmville is her only friend.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Randomize
