Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
