I like my sex mixed with concussions.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
