remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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