I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
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